Well, how stupid do I feel? Pretty stupid. I've been assuming all along it's been Asperger's Syndrome solely and that undernearth of this all has been just lack of knowledge on my part and not listening to my insticnt.
Come to find out there are a few other issues going along with his Asperger's. These would include Covert Abuser and Pathological Liar. The latter one is the most scary to me.
Well over two years ago he made me a CD with 'music' on it that he claimed was 'his' own compilation and in fact, wrote a song for me. Wow, my very own song. Needless to say it was written and performed by Marc Rizzo. Lucky for me there is awesome technology these days and it was fairly easy to figure out. I mean, the clues were there. Hey that CD is awesome! Wow you are really talented! Compliment after Compliment. He beemed with delight and approval. But, I just happened to have a friend in the music biz so I mention this to Jay and he freaks out. Telling me he's very private about his work and even getting mad because I let it out of my sight...yeah, because it's stolen.
When I learned about this yesterday I felt intense fear. This one act two years ago tells me things about this person that scare me. It means he's hollow inside. That he has such little self confidence, self-image, self-esteem that he has to fake who he is just to impress people. The guy is pathetic.
However, a deeper and more insane issue is he didn't sound right yesterday. I immediately stopped him two seconds into the conversation and said, Ok, what's wrong? Cause I knew something was wrong. I have been talking online to this person for 3 years. I can just tell when he's not right. He complained about having to work the weekend, never having any time off, being tired etc. The same stuff I've heard daily for 3 years. I wanted to know what his 'big' decision was going to be since he made it clear there was to be one on Monday. But when I asked him this question, he acted as if he had no recollection of telling me he was making such a decision. And further, he said he was waiting on me to tell him what I was thinking. OK WHAT??? Exactly. Nothing with him makes sense. Not because he's forgetful, not because he has Asperger's, not because of anything except this: HE LIES. And he believes these lies when he can keep up with them.
At 7:35 PM I rec'd a VM on my work line stating that he needed me to call him and that it was a FUCKING Emergency. I thought, ok, another ploy to lure me back in by playing on my empathy/sympathy emotions. Now, two weeks ago, he told me his dad was in the hospital. So, I am thinking, Ok, good gosh, his dad may have passed away. So, I called him. Come to find out, it wasn't his dad but his friend Amy, who tragically died in a house fire yesterday AM. I looked it up online, and yes, there was a girl named Amy who died in a house fire. Very very sad! This is the second death to hit him in less than a year. So, I wonder, ok did you really know this girl who died in this fire? Or did you just see her name online and decide to use it as a ploy to get some sympathy out of me? I mean, at this point, who knows what his motivation is.
However upon closer inspection he makes some interesting slips:
He said her brother called him with the news. Then he said the dad called him. He told me her family was calm. Hard to believe because if I lost my daughter in a house fire, I would be a pile on the floor not able to call any of her friends. So, who is he to her that he gets a personal call from a family member? Good friends? Probably not. More than likely Girlfriend. So, now things start adding up. He mentions her to me in December 2008 for the first time. He asks if he should move in with her. Out of the blue, just like that, someone who cannot be in the same room with another human being for more than 5 hours is going to now have a female roomate? Someone I've never heard him mention? As if. He must really think I am stupid to buy that crock. I knew in December that she was more than a friend.
Now as I am talking to him he is extremely upset, anxiety stricken, like he's worried about something. He lost his mom years ago and then his favorite bunny rabit and I've 'heard' the desparation and grief/sadness.....THIS was different. I said, wow, she's just a friend but you act like you are in love with her. And you are taking time off from work because a 'friend' died? Wow, you must be a really good friend to her and her family. He neither confirmed or denied his feelings for her.
He originally told me that he spoke to her the night before last. REALLY? WOW! He hates to talk on the phone but now he is taking calls from her at night? Amazing. Then later in the conversation he said, Maybe I should have DRIVEN back out there. OK WTF? Driven BACK as in you were there earlier and you should have gone back? OMFG! Of course he says no, I only spoke to her on the phone and proceeded to tell me via more lies about what transpired.
She had an Ambien addiction apparently, according to him. And that on another previous occassion he had to pick her up from the hospital after she OD'd on some Ambien. Ok again, how is the hospital supposed to know to call YOU??? More than likely you took her there and waited while she recovered. Oh, and BTW when did this even happen? Because I never heard about this incident. He responds, a few months ago. REALLY? Wow, you tell me everytime you have a bowel movement. And you've somehow let this slip your mind? I don't think so. Then I bring up Starr and how he is always there when she needs something...but he has a retort for everything. But he used his standard, GUILT when it came to keeping me from asking too many questions. I mean, after all, isn't it fair that I be a 'nice' guy and help her out? I mean, what if I didn't have you to talk to, I'd really like it if she did the same for me....GUILT GUILT GUILT.
So, I'm just saying a lot of nothing because I have no sympathy for this predator. He tells me he wants to KILL himself. OK WHAT? Over a friend dying? This doesn't make any sense.
He tells me he was sort of rude to her over the phone and hung up on her cause she pissed him off. OMG, you are supposed to be a friend to this girl and then you just hang up on her and go on about your night. Let's just assume you aren't a liar and that you have been the person you said you were.......SHE did not deserve for you to hang up on her as if her feelings (which I am sure you caused) meant absolutely nothing to you. As if she were trash to be discarded by you. When you said she did not 'suffer'...............WTF? What planet do you live on? She was in a fire and then was still alive when they pulled her out. Maybe it makes you sleep better at night knowing she didn't suffer but wake up Jay, she suffered. She suffered for the time she knew you and when she died. For you not to even realize this or see it or even feel it, makes me wonder if there is not something more seriously wrong with you. Then you talk about your upcoming concert with your friends. A concert should be the last thing on your mind if you are as upset as you say you are. You talk about your mom as if she were a saint. I wonder what she would say now looking at you. Pathetic!
Maybe that was her making your legs tingle on Monday, maybe she's coming to get you.
Do They Fit the Checklist on Predators? - The other type of emotionally unavailable man is unavailable due to his relationship (or relationships) with another woman (or women). These guys are never...
5 months ago