Thursday, February 12, 2009

Thinking Errors

When I read this, I thought, wow, I wished I had seen this two years ago. The signs were always right there. I was the perfect bait. I lived far enough away that he didn't have to worry about me 'checking' up on him even though I am not like that. Not to say I didn't have my doubts because there were times I thought, I wonder if I drove out and sat in front of his house, what would I see? I would have seen the truth.

This article on Thinking Errors is too close to home. For each category listed, I will give an exact true to life example of how Jay fit into the psychopathic model.

Excuse Making


  • Babe, you know my schedule at work keeps me from having
    much down time, you know I would see you if I could.
  • Babe, I bring my clothes over here because if I didn't, I would have to spend this time at the laundry mat rather than being with you.
  • I know we just had a fight but I called you back to let you know I am sorry and that I am NOT just using you to pay for my storage.
  • Can you shoot me some bucks? I forgot my wallet.

Blaming

  • You are a piece of work.
  • You are the one with the problem, everything was fine until you brought this up.
  • You are too sensitive, you need to relax, why can't you take a joke?
  • I can't believe you are talking to me like this.

Justifying

  • Well, if everyone would just leave me alone, then I could finish this, I hate to be bothered.
  • The only reason I was driving with a suspended license is because I can never get time off from work to take care of it. I'm late because the traffic was horrible and the other drivers, well, they shouldn't be allowed to drive on the same highway with me. If it weren't for them, I would have been on time.
  • You took your time, now I am taking mine, so don't bother me.

Redefining

Question from me to Jay: Why were you late in picking me up? Answer: Well, Ms. late to the ferry because I'm stuck in traffic.....

Question from me to Jay: So, you let those bartenders buy you drink after drink but you get mad at me if it happens when I go out? Answer: You know I am on limited funds.....relax, you get so jealous. I never get jealous or feel insecure with us, you shouldn't either.

Superoptimism
  • Everyone loves my Aura, even babies, they can sense it.
  • Why are all of the girls looking at me?
  • I am going to be wealthy by my voice acting. I know, I can just feel it.
Lying
commission - making things up that are simply not true


  • I lived in Japan for 3 years. (not even remotely true)
  • I have a graduate degree. (i barely made it through high school)
  • My friend Gonzolo helped me move. (my gf Amy helped me move)
  • I went to the movies with my brother. (i went to the movies with my other gf)
omission - saying partly what is so, but leaving out major sections


  • I prefer animals to humans....(because they can't talk, bitch, demand).
  • Don't be silly, you are the only girl in my life....(but since I don't see you very often, I have to date other girls to get what I should be getting from you).
  • I got home at 7:30 PM and just went to bed early (but I didn't tell you that my other GF came over and spent the night).
assent - making believe that one agrees with someone else, or pretending, or approving of others ideas


  • You are right babe, I'm in complete agreeance with you.
  • You are the most intelligent woman I know.
  • I was never into politics until I met you.
  • You've shown me a different way to be.
  • I respect what you think and say.

Making Fools Of- Antisocials delight in making fools of professional people, such as therapists, lawyers, judges, etc

  • All of the guys in suits stare at me on the subway, I bet they are jealous of how I get to dress for my job. They are all losers.
  • I hate lawyers.
  • I don't need therapy, they might lock me up if I even got close.

Build-up

  • You are not very excited to see me.
  • I can't believe that guy Flarherty, I said hi to him this AM and he didn't say anything to me, fuck that guy.

Assuming

  • You don't love me anymore.
  • You are too busy for me.
  • When you say you are going out with 'friends' it makes me feel like other guys will be there.
  • Why don't you tell me you love me? It must mean you are losing interest in me.

"I'm Unique"

  • I'm a rare find.
  • I'm not like most guys.
  • Face it, you would miss me if I was gone from your life.

Ingratiating

  • I appreciate you so much.
  • I truly thank you for coming into my life.
  • You are the best babe.
  • Thank you for all of your generosity.
  • No one has ever done these things for me before.
  • One day I'll tell God what a great person you are.

Fragmented Personality

  • I'll see Amy on Monday, Shaneqkua on Tuesday, Wed I will go to church, Thursday I'll see Amy again. Friday I will be with my real gf. Saturday and Sunday I will go to Boston to see my other gf.

Minimizing

  • I'm not perfect, I have flaws, I'm only human.
  • I don't know why you are so pissed off, I was only joking.

Vagueness

  • I'll have to wait to see what my schedule looks like after crunch is over.
  • We'll have to do that someday.
  • I might go the party after work, I'm not sure.

Anger

  • You know how to push my buttons.
  • I can't believe you called me an Asshole in my own home.
  • You know I am like this, I told you that when we met, I don't know what you would be shocked.

Power Plays (Jay was the MASTER at these!)

  • I'm hanging up now.
  • I'm gonna go now.
  • I'm not going to sit here and listen to you bitch at me.
  • I need to think.
  • I'm going home.
  • I'm busy go away.
  • Stop IM'ing me, calling me, emailing me-I'll let you know when I am done being pissed off at you, until then, you can just suffer.
  • I'll give you your money when I see you this weekend, are you happy now?

Victim Playing (He does this extremely well)

  • I don't know how to do that, no one ever showed me.
  • I was a late bloomer.
  • My mom died and I have no one to give me advice. I'm all alone. I miss her (cries for an hour) She died in 1998.
  • I can't clean my apartment, I'm too busy with work.
  • My girlfriend won't have sex with me anymore she's just not into it.
  • No one understands me but you.
  • I don't have any food in my place until next payday.

Drama-Excitement (He always had drama)

  • Can you believe the night I had last night?
  • I can't believe the things I have to put up with just to be with you.
  • You Asian women are all the same.
  • Well, maybe I'll just find someone to replace you with, a new model.
  • I'm sure there are lots of other girls out there who would do what I want.

Closed Channel (It is permanently stuck on Jay TV)

  • I'm smarter than everyone I work with.
  • I'm a good person.
  • I'm the best boyfriend, I treat you like gold.

Ownership

  • You belong to me.
  • You will never escape me.
  • I will stalk you.
  • You will need to sign a contract to be with me.

Image

  • I'm the best looking guy on this floor.
  • I almost had to kick someone's ass on the train today.
  • Don't worry flower, no one will ever harm you, I will protect you.

Grandiosity

  • I'm the best.
  • No one can beat me on these games.
  • No one can write as many bugs as I can.
  • I'm going to be famous.

Procrastinate

  • I don't want to think about that right now.
  • I don't have time to discuss that right now.
  • Oh you need me to call you now? Well, I'm really busy and I don't have much time so the call can only be a few seconds.
  • I don't want to clean my place tonight, I just want to relax.

1 comment:

  1. Every single one of these sounds like something my own father would say growing up. If you added a bunch of F bombs and GD's and several other profanities, it would totally mirror him during my childhood growing up with a lunatic psychopathic parent. Replace the video games with guitar, and then it totally mirrors him.

    It's ALWAYS ALWAYS your fault or someone else's, it's never his fault, ever....That's how they are. When you can't blame your wife or kids, blame it on a random African American or Hispanic person he probably seen earlier that day because for some reason he hated them with a passion.

    Most the time I found out growing up that when he would accuse me or my mother and my sister of something, it was normally something he was guilty of. Every time he claimed I was doing drugs behind his back, it wouldn't take long before a crackpipe or a small bag of weed ended up somewhere hid in the house. I figured maybe that was his way of admitting to doing something, by blaming it on everyone else instead, and then putting up the "I'm a good person, you aren't nothing but a freak" routine.









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