Tuesday, February 10, 2009

If I could write a letter to Jay it would say THIS.......Dear Jay, You are a fucking Psychopath!

I have so many things to say to you, so buckle up. I have refrained from using 7 year GF's name out of respect for her. You had my trust, my support, my friendship, my love, my insight, my heart. Those things together allowed me to give to you when I didn't have much to give as it was. You wanted my sympathy, my empathy and my financial support. I was always ready and happy to help. I only got upset when you took advantage of me or seemed uninterested in doing what I needed you to do, ie, pay me back, take me out for a nice dinner, pay for a hotel once in awhile, pay for some of the gas, not get mad at me and shut the conversation down when I asked for anything.... Gee, what a concept, being a real guy rather than some leech >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> (picture to the right, LEECH) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

who has to take money and trust from a single mom. You took that money from me and my daughter. Always with the promise of paying it back. We are not talking about a few hundred bucks. We are talking about 6k. To me, that is a lot of money. When someone like your brother (Matt) failed to pay you back....You would turn around and bitch about what a loser he was for not paying you back $600. WTF? This is indicative of how you are. You selfish fuck. I wonder if you told Amy you gave $1000 and several gift cards to 7 year GF for Xmas 08??? Probably not. Did you mention to anyone that your own father disowned you over $160.00??? Pretty extreme but then again you are just like him.

I will do everything I can with the Suffolk County Court System to get back what you owe me. Luckily I have all of my emails, all of the many IMs where you asked for money, all of those stupid Western Union papers to document when I sent you money. In addition to this, I've asked you for my personal property back, my laptop, my camera, my dishes, my sweaters and my DVDs. You've ignored that request too.

Wake the hell up already. You live like you are 13 year old. You barely have a refrigerator in your new place and no stove. What man at 37 years old lives like that? You've never had a gas or electric bill in your name. I did hear that it wasn't you who negotiated when you got your car, it was 7 year GF. What a pussy you are. She told me how you loved to tell everyone what a great negotiator she was. But you put a different spin on it didn't you? You need so much attention from so many people. And, why did you have to get the same car I had? Really Jay? Same car, different color. And you spent so much time asking other people what they thought you should get when you knew all along.

Just like you did when I sent you all of the Ikea information. You still went out to Ikea and spent 4 hours walking around making a 'decision' with 7 year GF, when you had already made up your mind a week earlier.

This is similiar to how you would go and see movies with me or Amy and then sit through the same movie with 7 year GF and act like you had never seen it. That's about as psychopathic as you can get. You also went to the New Longon Aquarium with me and Bibbs in New London, CT a year before you went with 7 year GF and her parents! You acted as if you had never been there. Amazing!

You've said that 'when you are rich'.....you will do X X and X for your family or friends, you know, the people who supported you during your 'rough' times. The thing I realize now is this....the type of person you are today is the type of person you will be tomorrow. Money doesn't change generosity. Money doesn't change selfishness.

You used to tell me that knowing me I had given you a new way to be, you wanted to feel pride and accomplishment. What a crock of SHIT. It came at a very high cost for me, my trust. If I had to put a price tag on trust, it would be sky high. You've messed up any chance that I will have at being able to trust someone else for a very long time.

And not just me, 7 year GF is going to have a hard time over all of this. Why? Because you were nice to her. Sure you had your issues but you played the perfect BF, you did what she wanted you to do. Make sure she always had flowers, make sure you saw movies every week and went to dinner, make sure you planned things and picked up your slack. It's harder to believe that someone so nice is really a wolfe in sheep's clothing. Luckily Amy had contacted her directly. Well, I'm not sure if you count keying her car as contact but it was contact nonetheless. And with my phone call to 7 year GF recently, I have filled in any blanks that may have existed and shown her a different side to you. The side that Amy told her about. When Amy told her in October 08, 7 year GF didn't believe her, she thought she was a psycho. I'm sure you are the one who told her all about Amy being a psycho.

So, I came along and really bursted the bubble for you. I sent her all of my receipts to prove you and I saw each other, all of the emails, IM's, photos. You said so many bad things about her. But, after speaking with her for hours, she really is a nice girl. Smart and geniune. She filled in the gaps for me as well. I have to tell you, February 4, 09 12:03 PM was a day for eye openers.

You called 7 year GF at 6:02 PM on the day you find out that Amy died? You called me at 7:35 PM. Your message sounded so rehearsed, staged. It wasn't even a good try at sounding like you even cared. Remember I was there for Yoshi? That was me who spoke to you when she died in your hands. I heard the grief in your voice and I'm sorry but the grief you had for Yoshi dying and the grief you had over Amy dying were very different. You had so much more emotion and sense of loss over Yoshi than you did over Amy.

You have a string of girls who either can't or won't talk to you and still you don't learn from that. Of course it is everyone else, not you. Right? Can't they see I'm grieving? No, they see but it's not grief we see, it's psychopathy at it's finest.

You were full of promises.....we'll just call them LIES. Promises (LIES) to everyone but at the end you were getting sloppy. You had to have known that those plates would one day come crashing down. In December you started to slip up and forget who you were talking to and cover it with "Oh didn't I tell you?" Or telling me it was me being forgetful. I mean you are forgetful but I would have expected more precision from you. Mr. Analyst.

You were going to move in with Amy remember? Do you even remember asking me what I thought about that? I mean, if the two of you were getting married per the Newsday article, you would think you would have gone to live with her when Cathy left. But if you lived with her, then you couldn't see your 7 year GF or anyone else. Living with Amy would have put a big crimp into your lifestyle. No, you never had any intention of this but you told me so that I would get suspicious and upset. Which I did. I'm supposed to believe you've known Amy for 3 years? If that's true, then why didn't she do your taxes, she worked at the IRS.

I know you know that she looked up your taxes and found my name as the person to contact and then she confronted you. Of course you told her I was just a 'friend.' That's how you refer to all of the girls you juggle around. Amy was smart. But she didn't buy it because I started getting those crazy emails.

You knew who had sent them but you acted as if you knew nothing or why someone would be sending me such emails. She was trying to tell me something back then. She did find my business card at your house...remember? When she copied your house key and then took some of your precious video games? Your 7 year GF told you that Amy was the one who took them in October 08. However, you started to bring up how you were livid that they were stolen as you began to unpack in your new place. You hinted around for me to buy them because you were broke. Sorry dude but you just got a 12k bonus from Rockstar and in a month it's all gone? WTFE Jay? Where did it go? Well, maybe you didn't really get 12k just like you didn't really get a 10K bonus in July 08. If you went through all of that money then you are just an idiot. But my guess is you still have most of it tucked away still.

You lied about working both days on the weekends so many times. Or you would say you had to work down on the 4th floor. For all I know, the 4th floor is some broom closet. When I came out to move from Southampton to Boston, I did a little drive by your house. There your car sat. When you thought I was at the Ferry, I was actually in Selden 'checking up' on you. You lied right to me. I assumed you just wanted another day off without me being right there. If I had any inclination you were lying so that you could shuffle around 5 other girls, I would have left you then. But you even deny when someone is staring at you with die hard proof.

You really have it down. Make them feel like they are crazy and then start messing with their head. Make them believe you are the nicest guy, the 'rare' find and make it all about their own insecurity, destabilize them and when they are almost down, kick them again so they won't get up so quickly and question you again. You do this with words because you are too much of a pussy to confront any of us.

This is why I don't worry about you driving up here and setting fire to my house. You are too lazy to get on the Ferry or drive up here just to hurt me. But you did always say you would stalk me. And that I could never escape you. That's why I had to get a restraining order. Plus you know that if you ever show up here, Will will kick your ass and not think twice about it. He is completely disgusted by you. He thought you were a nice guy. And don't you think he's pretty upset that you took money from Bibby's account? That's a pretty spineless thing to do.

Our last phone conversation on 2-4-09 was great wasn't it? I confronted you about Amy and you lied to me again but this time for the absolute last time. And true to form, you got angry and hung up on me. I notice you didn't answer my text that I sent after that hang up, nor the email with what your MySpace page should have said. Liar. Cheat. Thief. I can't think of one nice thing to say about you. Your name incites lots of emotions and none of them are good.

And now you suffer in your own way only because you, (Jay) didn't get what he wanted. But in reality, Jay you never knew what you wanted because you only lived for today, not tomorrow. Only for right now. What does Jay need? Sleep? Food? Sex? A friend? Whatever Jay needs at the time he needs it is what you want. Like a child.

Even my 2 year old can delay her own gratification for the things she demands. You even needed attention from a 2 year old. Those pics of you and her at the Aquarium, how sweet I thought they were. And the pic of all of us that I gave to you, well, I'm sure that went right into the trash on the Ferry ride home. All of your talk on how you missed us and how you couldn't wait to see her again and how you wished she was yours. Now it all makes sense. You only wanted her because she is so cute and people paid attention when she was around.

You don't care about anything but Jay. You have to make sure you tell everyone how great you are because you know deep down that you are not right in the head, you know you have issues that go beyond depression. You've known for awhile that something is wrong but to blame yourself is like putting a gun to your head. That's the issue with narcissists, they love themselves too much to kill themselves.

You told me on so many occassions, "You know me better than I know myself." I had no idea what it meant until now. You were blank, hollow, empty inside. You needed my personality to fool others. When I spoke to your 7 year GF, we found it odd that it was her that I dated and me that she dated (personality wise).

You might truly be a 'late bloomer' but that is no excuse for 'sucking' in bed (and that's not a compliment). First of all, you need to initiate sex with a girl, not the other way around. Secondly there is something called foreplay. And third, you don't have to act like all girls are fragile, you are not THAT big. But it was good sometimes only because you could hold your orgasm until after me. I heard it wasn't like that for the 7 year GF. Girls like to be a little aggressive and really get into SEX. She said you only did missionary though and that you couldn't hold your own erection. That was probably because you weren't in control in that relationship.

Your psychic visit. You left out the part that this was one of Amy's relatives that told you someone would betray you. Perhaps they really meant you were going to betray someone.

I hope someday Karma will intervene and bring you physical pain, because I know you know how that feels. Serious physical pain. A body cast of physical pain. It's the only way you'll even understand how your victims feel.

You told me, relationships never work out for you. Well, there is a reason why. When I saw you for the LAST time in mid January 09, you looked at me and said, "I love you, don't forget that ever." "I owe you so much." Yeah, you do...that's the understatement of the Millenium. But what about the other girls, what do you owe to them? Amy's gone. 7 year GF is gone, I am gone. Who else left you during your grief? Anyone who has any sense.

Oh and BTW-I have forgotten that you loved me sooooo much, it was fairly easy to forget. It's hard to love someone you don't respect and I began to loose respect for you in July 08. The reason was fairly simple, you morphed into your asshole stage and you remained that way.

You used me from the very beginning. You wanted to come to MY house in Southampton because it was really nice, you could use my washer and dryer, you could be away from your other GFs and you knew you would never get caught there.

You are the 'piece of work'...........but your game is 'over'.......as they say in your line of work, your game environment is seriously derranged. If I could name a video game for you, I would call you 'Resident Evil.' The only hope I have for you is that you get your stint in the local mental hospital. It's where you belong. You are not one of us and you will never be. You will always feel that life is unfair, you will always blame everyone else, you will never accept normal responsibilities in life, you will be envious of what other people have.

You will always feel like you have to prove yourself to those around you. I don't feel sorry for you. I don't pity you. That would imply forgiveness of some type. You talk about your religious side and one day you will have to be accountable there. Maybe then you will find your justice in hell, where you belong.

You would plead with me through your drunk texts never to throw you away. That was only for attention. That was to show me that you were vulnerable. You were probably high off of your ass and watching UFC and smiling when you sent that message. The night before I met you, you had called me up drunk off of your ass and I remember clearly the nasty things you said to me. Of course you didn't remember them and wondered why I wasn't talking to you. You show up with this stupid Walmart Stuffed Animal as some sort of peace offering, well, you will see that again (when you are not even looking).

The person that you really were.....the one I am starting to see with eyes wide open, I am slam dunking this mother fucker right into the trash, without a blink.

A'ight Bitch?

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