Jay has so many things wrong that it is very hard to pinpoint the nuances of what makes him the way he is. He could get upset over the slightest thing, like someone parking too close to him at the 7-11 or if Jeff (his boss) didn't respond right away to an email he had sent. If someone gave him a 'dirty' look at work, he would obsess for hours over what it meant. He has such poor social skills, it's so hard to imagine how he was able to get by in life. Well, he got by because others made concessions for him. They made excuses. Myself included. I made SOOO many excuses for this lazy piece of shit.
Below are things that are indicative of psychopathic mindset and the examples as it related to Jay Capozello:
-Freudian slips of the tongue (indicative of mental conflict)- Jay would say that he told his friend Gonzolo that his 'friend' (ME) was looking for a web developer. When I questioned him on it why he used the term 'friend' he brushed it off as me analyzing everything he said. He told me that Gonzalo was recently back in his life and he didn't want him knowing his business. YEAH Right!
-Guilt feelings (covered up, but wants to be punished for something)-Jay constantly did this. He would get pissy with me if I didn't say 'HI' the right way. It was like he wanted to fight. Or, when he said, "I'm sorry if it's not good enough for you." We could be talking about something simple like the time we were going to meet. Then he would say, you put me in a bad mood so now I am not going to talk to you. So, he would get mad at me and punish me for something he had guilt over. Being around him was like walking on eggshells.
-Uses defense mechanism of projection (blaming others for own faults)- I can only think of one time that he ever apologized to me. He was upset when I logged online and wanted to talk to him on the phone. He got enraged. He was yelling and yelling and I just hung up. I was so upset. So, about 30 minutes later he called me back to tell me he was not just apologizing so I would pay for his storage. But that's exactly why he was calling me back. He was constantly telling me I didn't seem interested or that he felt ugly and that no one would love him.
-Uses defense mechanism of displacement (ditching, self-handicapping, settling for 2nd best, being own worst enemy, but feels entitled to something or being 1st)-OMG....he always felt entitled or that he was the best, 1st, etc. He told me everyday how great he was.
-Oral fixation (smokes or always has to have something in mouth)-Usually fixated on eating candies, Skittles, Reeses Pieces.
-Oedipus complex (or other love/hate relationship with parents)-YES! He sainted his mom and villified his dad.
-Comes from dysfunctional family or broken home (absent or abusive father)-YES! Abusive Father.
-Impervious to fear, anxiety, depression, or remorse (unremorseful)-High Anxiety, High Fear, Hi level of Depression.
-Superficially charming, a real cool cat (manipulative and conning)-He acted like he was Mr. Cool but inside he was afraid of everything.
-Inability to love or express emotions deeply, can't respond to kindness (cold)-Jay could not respond to kindness. Once he told me, "I've never asked you for anything." This after he asked me for a ton of money, food, my time and attention.
-Pathological lying (for no reason at all, can't help self)-Apparent for the 'song' he said he wrote for me. In additio
-No self-insight (doesn't reflect much upon own personality makeup)-Didn't have this at all. Did not possess the depth of understanding his own personality. He had to rely on what I liked in order to 'fake' liking it. He would tell his 7 year GF that he was going to start eating Oranges, Pomegrantes because I did. He would tell me he found a new album or movie because his brother recommended it to him.
-No self-humor (can't stand to be the butt of jokes or can't laugh at self)-Please see my YOU THINK I'M A JOKE post.....he did not like to be laughed at, ever.
-A fairly high IQ (good grades in school or disparity in achievement)- I didn't see a high IQ with Jay but rather a stunted knowledge base. He barely knew what state he lived in let alone typical facts you learn in High School. He has no knowledge of world events, politics, etc. He doesn't read but he tells you he loves to read a book from time to time. Maybe a comic book but nothing substantial. Intelligence from being book smart he didn't have. Street smart? I didn't see this either. He had a hard time finding his way around NYC. In addition to this, his emotional intelligence was low.
-Uses neologisms (makes up strange new words, abbreviations, or sayings)-OMG, this is so Jay. I called them Jayisms, or Yahooisms. OMG!! His work Ethnic....OMG!
-Fascination with fire (or death, or purified ways to destroy something)-Fascination to fire. He was obsessed with fire when he came over to my house. He would sit and stare at it for hours. He would beg me to get fire wood so he could light the fire. It was like he received orgasmic pleasure from it.
-Cruelty to animals (dislike of animals)-Jay spoke of how he loved dogs, diskliked cats. I had two dogs in Southampton that I watched. He never wanted them near him. My own dog he didn't want around. Yet, my cat, he let crawl up on him. I got two little mini dogs and he never even picked them up. Never wanted to know about them. But when one died, he would give me hell for not going to pick up her ashes at the vet. I just couldn't bring myself to do it at that time.
-Lack of probity, courtesy, or doesn't tolerate society's "niceties" or obligations-No, Jay was extremely courteous (AT FIRST). He was very polite. Once he asked our waitress if he could 'bother' her for salt and pepper. I've never had to hold back laughter as much as I did when she looked at him and said, "Yeah, it's right there on the table." But during a disagreement he was mean and cruel. He said hateful things, hardly the 'nice' person he started out to be. He had no idea how to do something for someone else. He was not a courteous person but rather selfish. Very selfish. Everything was about Jay. It was like the TV was permanently stuck on JAY TV.
-Moody, obsessive-compulsive, suffers from one or more phobias-Jay is OCD, he has a lot of phobias, MOODY!!! He can change moods like minutes on a clock.
-Does not tend to learn from mistakes unless immediate punishment given-
Correct, I gave Jay a lot of leeway. He acted the same way over and over. Then at times he would act as if he were a child, put his head on my shoulder and then want me to punish him as I would my kids.
-Lack of formal-operational thinking (tends to think in concrete, black-or-white terms)-Very black and white. There was no room for Gray with Jay. He either liked or hated you. There was no middle ground. You were the angel from heaven of the devil from hell.
-Identity conflict (often with delayed adolescence, hasn't grown up in certain ways)-Well, this is obvious by his apartment, his lack of bank account, his lack of planning for a future. At 36 he had no idea how to find the bathroom in the mall let alone plan for a future. He would often refer to himself as a "Late Bloomer."
-Preconventional morality (thinks things are wrong only because it might lead to punishment or it's not in his/her best interests right now, failure to understand disparities between own behavior and socially acceptable behavior, often in trouble with law)- Jay had several unpaid tickets which led to a warrant for his arrest. He also had a suspended license. This meant he was unable to drive yet he still did. He has a complete disrespect for the law, his responsibilities, paying bills, debts, etc. Yet he expects those who have borrowed money from him to pay it back.
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