Friday, January 20, 2012

1 comment:

  1. Nobody knows what it is like to love a psychopath until they are in the same situation. I had a relationship with a man for 3 years. All I did was love him and I gave him ALL my love, which he never believed, just for him to verbally, mentally and emotionally abuse me and control me. I got very tired of all the the emotional abuse when all I did was love him and I didn't deserve any of the things he would call me, along with outrageous accusations. It became very exhausting so I needed to end it. I didn't want to because I loved him so much but it had to be done otherwise he would have destroyed me as a human being. When I tried to end it he started to harrass me. I gave him plenty of warning that I was going to go to the police if he didn't stop but he didn't. Right from the beginning, he always told me I was his everything and he never loved anyone before me, never cared about anyone before me, never did the things we did before me with anyone else. He made me feel very special that he never wanted anyone in his whole entire life until he met me. I believed him because I wanted to. When I reported him to the police and he was arrested with criminal harrassment. it was then I found out I was not so special after all. I was just another one of his victims. I was told by police that I was lucky to get away from him when I did and that upset me very much knowing that the man I loved was not who I thought he was. He has done this to many other women in his life before me, telling them that they are the only ones he ever wanted and they tried to end it just for him to harrass them too. I also found out he had a long history of violence towards women. I just couldn't believe everything I found out. It was a complete shock to me. In the end, he will carry on with his life and continue to do this to other women making them sound like they are the only one he ever wanted with all the other lies he told me and I was nothing to him and meanwhile I have a long road ahead of me to recover to get over all of this and him. As much as I miss him and still love him, I have to realize that he will NEVER change and I have to carry on with my life once I get through all of this and get over him. It's a very hard thing to do knowing that the person you fell in love with, was not the person you thought he was and he will just carry on with life to his next victim like I never even existed to him and here I cry everyday wondering, "how could he be so cruel to me and lie to me and accuse me of all these ridiculous things when all I did was love him." I know in his mind, he's thinking I'm laughing because he was arrested and charged but in reality, it's quite the opposite. I cry all the time because I miss him but I'm missing the person I thought he was and he isn't so I always have to remind myself of that.